if you think tangerines are better than clementines, i’ll fight you.

Well, my friends I’m sad to say that clementine season is over.  Most groceries have started marking down the box price of clementines.  This usually means one thing.  They’re not fit to eat.  The clementine has, for years, been the “Mackinaw peach” of the citrus world.  Once they’re ripe, buy them and eat them because they’ll soon be shit.  Typical season for California clementines will run from mid-November through January but there are only a few weeks starting in late-November to mid-December that the fruit is just wondrous.  An explosion of tasty goodness in every last bite.  A clementine, purchased at the right time tastes just like heaven would taste.  If heaven were an oblate, medium-sized citrus fruit with a deep orange colour, smooth, glossy skin and could separate into eight to fourteen juicy segments.  A clementine, purchased before or after it’s peak isn’t worth eating.  Throw them out.  Usually if they’re on sale, they’re too old to buy.  A clementine is something you definitely want to pay full price for.  I know people will tell you that the economy is bad, and that the average person can’t afford the price of a box of  “in season” clementines because of George W. Bush and his failed policies.  Don’t listen to them.  Clementines marked down are a waste of money.  Clementines full price, at their peak juiciness are an investment.  An investment in goodness.

People will also tell you that a clementine is just a tangerine.  I strongly urge you to avoid getting into a fruit debate with these people because they’re insane.  Tangerines have seeds, aren’t as sweet, and are harder to peel than clementines.  Also they taste like shit.  I would even say that a tangerine is a poor man’s clementine.  If this post has put your taste buds in the mood for a clementine, you’ll have to wait until next Thanksgiving.  Don’t buy them now because you won’t get the true essence of the fruit.  And for fuck sake whatever you do, please don’t buy an effin tangerine!