It’s ok to like W. Barack says so.

A George W. Bush supporter overwhelmed with emotion

George W. Bush started off this week with an approval rating of 34%, by Friday evening it had climbed to nearly 50%.  Saturday afternoon Gallup pole found an approval rating of nearly 70%.  Doubled in just one week.  This all comes after a Barack Obama interview with CNN’s John King on Friday.  Obama said Friday that he “always thought Bush was a good guy.”  “I mean, I think personally he is a good man who loves his family and loves his country,” Obama said later in the interview.  Obama also went on to say he thought Bush made “the best decisions that he could at times under some very difficult circumstances.”

Since the interview, Bush’s approval rating has more than doubled.  People across the United States spent their Saturday mornings scraping the clever anti-Bush bumper stickers from their Priuses.(is that the plural of prius, or is it prii?)  Urban Outfitters has reportedly ordered a shipment of pro-Bush indie t’s and there are even rumors of an ABC news story in the works that would portray the president in a positive light.  President Bush is even considering a redo on his farewell address given Thursday evening.  After Friday’s interview with Obama and the change in public support as a result of the Messiah’s kind words in that interview the Bush administration is now scouting out venues for a proper farewell address.  The new farewell address scheduled for prime time Monday evening is rumored to be held at Fed Ex field.  The Secret Service is expecting a near capacity crowd of 91,000 people.  Ambulances will be standing by for men and women that may faint when President Bush takes the stage.

It took me 3 hours to do what?

One of my goals for the first few weeks of the new year was to investigate refinancing my home loan.  Right now we have an interest rate of 5.75% so as rates continue to go down I thought I should see if I can’t get a loan around 4%.  Good idea right?  Ok, here it goes.  I put the baby down for her nap at 1320, she usually sleeps for three hours each afternoon.  I’ve got plenty of time to call citimortgage (who my current home loan is with) and start the process of determining whether a refinance is a good option for me.  At 1330 I place the call.  The first step is entering information for an automated voice.  After entering all necessary information the computer lady’s voice says she’s transferring me to a mortgage consultant and that my call would be answered in the order in which it was received.  I hear a ring, then the computerized voice.  “Your call will be answered in the order it was received, thank you, someone will be with you shortly”.  I’m thinking this may be awhile.  Put the phone on speaker, clip it to my hip, and away I go to be productive.  First stop, the kitchen.  I unload the dishwasher and clean the entire kitchen.

“Thank you for calling, your call will be answered in the order it was received”.

Next up is the bedroom.  Gotta make the bed because if my wife comes home from work and the bed isn’t made there’s going to be trouble.  Straigten up the bedroom and bathroom, listen to Bill Cunningham, and make a pile of dirty clothes.  Done and done.  Now I head to the office to check my email and some other things on the computer.

“Thank you for calling, your call will be answered in the order it was received”.

I’m hungry.  Better eat a hotdog.  Went back downstairs, fixed a hotdog and watched an episode of The Office.

“Thank you for calling, your call will be answered in the order it was received”.

Hey, I haven’t read this month’s Wired.  Better go into the living room and get some magazine reading done.  Done and done.

“Thank you for calling, your call will be answered in the order it was received”.

You get the picture, this goes on for the duration of naptime.  I just knew a loan officer would come to the phone just as soon as the baby starts screaming.  Finally 3 hours into the call someone answers and the baby’s not awake yet.  All is not lost.  Everything’s fine.  I’ll get to at least get the ball rolling.

“Thank you for holding, my name is Loranda, I’m going to place you on hold for just a minute”.

What!  Is Loranda just fucking with me because she’s seen that I was on hold for 3 hours already.  Nope, Loranda’s not fucking around.  She puts me back on hold.  There’s a blood vessel in the side of my head that’s starting to swell up.  It’s ok though, Loranda came right back.  Maybe she just had to get a drink of water or something.  OK.  I’m not on hold anymore and this gal’s gonna help me out, I just know it.  Loranda asks my name.  I tell her.  My address.  I tell her.  My account number.  I tell her.  My daytime phone number.  I tell her.  Alright, now we’re getting somewhere.  Any minute now she’s going to say “and how can I help you today Mr. KRS.”  The baby still hasn’t woken up.  This is brilliant, what a lucky day.  What Loranda says next makes the afore mentioned blood vessel nearly burst.

“Thank you for calling citimortgage Mr. KRS a mortgage specialist will call you back within 72 hours”.

HOLY FUCK!  Ok now me and my girl Loranda are in a fight.  I’m furious.

“I’ve been on hold for 3 hours for you to take my phone number and tell me someone will call me back in 3 fucking days”.

“yes sir”

“No that won’t do, the recording said I would be transfered to a mortgage specialist and I’d like to talk to one right now”.

“Sir I have your information and someone will be getting back with you in 72 hours”.

I’ve spent all afternoon on hold with this shit company who has probably laid off thousands of mortgage consultants so that I’m stuck talking to $7 an hour Loranda.  I keep repeating “you’ve kept me on hold for 3 hours to tell me you’ll have someone call me back in 3 days”?  That’s the only thing I could think of and this girl didn’t care what I said.  I know it’s not Loranda’s fault, it’s just crap business practice.  With all happening in this industry I feel they should be talking to me.  I’m not some hump that bought a house he couldn’t afford.  I wasn’t calling to tell them I want to renegotiate the terms of my loan because I can’t afford the payments.  I’ve never missed a payment and pay $600 per month additional principle on my loan.  I feel like I’m a good customer who was treated like shite.  Out of all the automated voice messages I heard during these 3 hours none of them mentioned that I would not be talking to a mortgage person at the end of my wait.  I thought that’s what I was waiting on.  End result.  I’m furious.

New goal?  Finding someone other than citimortgage to refinance with.  Fuck em!

Oh and by the way, whilst on hold at citimortgage they don’t even have any hold music for you to listen to.  If they’re going to keep people on hold all god damn day just to fuck em in the end, the least they could do is play some effin muzaked Billy Joel.

if you think tangerines are better than clementines, i’ll fight you.

Well, my friends I’m sad to say that clementine season is over.  Most groceries have started marking down the box price of clementines.  This usually means one thing.  They’re not fit to eat.  The clementine has, for years, been the “Mackinaw peach” of the citrus world.  Once they’re ripe, buy them and eat them because they’ll soon be shit.  Typical season for California clementines will run from mid-November through January but there are only a few weeks starting in late-November to mid-December that the fruit is just wondrous.  An explosion of tasty goodness in every last bite.  A clementine, purchased at the right time tastes just like heaven would taste.  If heaven were an oblate, medium-sized citrus fruit with a deep orange colour, smooth, glossy skin and could separate into eight to fourteen juicy segments.  A clementine, purchased before or after it’s peak isn’t worth eating.  Throw them out.  Usually if they’re on sale, they’re too old to buy.  A clementine is something you definitely want to pay full price for.  I know people will tell you that the economy is bad, and that the average person can’t afford the price of a box of  “in season” clementines because of George W. Bush and his failed policies.  Don’t listen to them.  Clementines marked down are a waste of money.  Clementines full price, at their peak juiciness are an investment.  An investment in goodness.

People will also tell you that a clementine is just a tangerine.  I strongly urge you to avoid getting into a fruit debate with these people because they’re insane.  Tangerines have seeds, aren’t as sweet, and are harder to peel than clementines.  Also they taste like shit.  I would even say that a tangerine is a poor man’s clementine.  If this post has put your taste buds in the mood for a clementine, you’ll have to wait until next Thanksgiving.  Don’t buy them now because you won’t get the true essence of the fruit.  And for fuck sake whatever you do, please don’t buy an effin tangerine!