Holiday shopping, makes me wanna puke.
I’m a huge fan of Christmas, I absolutely love it. Christmas shopping, however I do not like. It’s just the crowds. That’s it. Everything else is just fine. I had my first near meltdown of the holiday season this past Saturday. I’m at Kenwood Towne Center, just north of Cincinnati, OH and it’s fucking packed. Anyone that thinks the economy is bad needs to go to Kenwood Mall and try to find a parking place. Then tell me the economy’s bad. If you think the economy’s bad go to the Apple store and try to buy an iPhone. You’ll have to wait in line. Yeah, you’ll have to wait in line to buy a $300 phone. Ok I digress. This story is really about parking. Back to parking. I dropped my wife and baby off at the front door because it was cold and just all around shit weather. I thought from there, life would be fairly simple. I’m not looking for a close spot. I’m don’t care to park in the last spot in the lot. As I’m driving around I see someone backing out. Awesome. I’m gonna get a parking spot sooner than expected. I pull up, turn on my blinker, as is protocol in this situation. The guy drives away and just as I’m pulling up to my spot. A GOD DAMN YUPPIE pulls right into my parking space. Now the laws of society clearly award this parking spot to me but this Dodge Caravan mother fucker thinks the rules of society don’t apply to him. He pulls right in front of me. I’m struck dumb. The only thing I can do is mouth the words “what the fuck” to his blonde wife as they’re pulling into my spot. I think for a second, ” I should just run right into his car.” The moment passes and my anger with this family quickly goes away. Now I’m just thinking that this guy doesn’t abide by society’s rules and now his offspring are learning early that it’s ok just to steal someone else’s parking spot. Those two yuppie kids, I call them Reagan and Braden (or something close to that) wll some day be taking a parking spot from my little girl. It’s a vicious cycle.
November 20, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Shoulda got in that ass Larry…. Snickers or no Snickers.
November 20, 2008 at 3:01 pm
I’m with you, Xmas shopping sucks. Shopping is my wife’s sport. I don’t think there is a person alive who can out shop her. She is one of those crazys that goes out at 5am the day after Thanksgiving. F- that S**t. In order to preserve our marriage she has had to conceed to the 2hr rule. If I’m going shopping with her we have to be done in 2hrs, no if’s, and’s or but’s. I can’t take anymore than that or I go postal!
November 27, 2008 at 2:13 am
The next time something like this happens, give me a call and I will have one of my friends from the Hood come by and jack his minivan! Better yet I will have my friend E.T. come park his piece of shit Chevy directly behind it and leave it there for 12 hours. His car barely has bumpers or an undercarriage so it can’t be towed without considerable effort that no hourly Tow Truck Driver will want to apply without a lot of cash up front!